Friends and Family Of a Transsexual

By Stephanie Castle

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Are there conclusions to be drawn from this? Obviously there are even though they cannot be offered as an infallible formula. After all, oafish prejudice and outright negativism must be allowed for and all of us must know of some people for whom any explanation would be a pure waste of effort.

Any guidelines one can devise will probably reflect one's own personality and characteristics. Being a positive, resolute and quietly purposeful person, as I am in any event, helps a lot. I am not suggesting that I can hand anyone else a basic blue print, with the suggestion that now that one is armed with that, one can go out and build the answers like creating a sandcastle on the beach, but if the guidelines I have adopted for myself are of any help to anyone else, here they are for better or worse:

1) Get right to the point. Define your orientation quickly and follow up with a definition of what you are not. This clears the air of the conclusions (immediately and usually wrongly drawn) as to what they think you are. Remember that transexuals, gays and transvestites are all components of the same bag of potatoes in the minds of the ignorant.

2) Let honesty prevail. Be patient, you are introducing them to a difficult and complex subject. Do not obscure the situation by 'beating around the bush' and do not be afraid to be personal about yourself.

3) Use qualified professional back up if available to enhance credibility, but don't use this as a crutch. You are the one who has had to come to terms with yourself, and you are the one who has to carry the ball in dealing with outside relationships.

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